What His Dating Past Says About Him: The Ex-Files
By Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary, authors of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
A man’s relationship record can tell you what to expect from him when he enters into one with you. Whether he’s broken hearts or
had his broken, most guys come with some baggage from their former flames. Here’s our take on what a man’s past might tell you about him.
This guy loves being loved — and isn’t afraid to commit. Yet jumping straight from one serious relationship into another may signal insecurity or a fear of being alone.
While his past infidelity doesn’t mean he’ll cheat on you, have a conversation about why he strayed in a previous relationship. If he hasn’t addressed his reason for cheating and worked to change, there’s a good chance it’ll happen again.
He’s Been Cheated On
A man who’s been dogged in the past will likely have trust issues. He may have trouble opening up to future girlfriends for fear of getting his heart broken again.
He’s a Relationship Newbie
This love loner could be super picky or fear rejection. Apt to jump ship when the tides get rough, he may not understand that relationships are hard work.
He’s a Known Player
Even if his debonair attitude seems to speak otherwise, a known player sees you as just another notch in his headboard. He’s liable to wine, dine and lay you . . . then leave you.
He Has a History of Dating Crazies
A man with endless stories about depressed or abusive exes either turns normal gals loony or likes loony girls because he enjoys the drama, needs to feel superior or thinks he can save them. He’ll probably either make mountains of your molehills — by constantly trying to rile you up — or drop you the second he gets bored.
He Was Off and On With His Last GF
A guy this wishy-washy doesn’t know what he wants. Incapable of making a decision and abiding by it, he isn’t the type to ever fully commit and will most likely jerk you around the emotional rollercoaster.
He Broke Off an Engagement
Calling off his wedding doesn’t necessarily make a man a bad guy. If the relationship wasn’t fulfilling, not getting married was probably the right thing to do. However, it wouldn’t hurt to ask him why he proposed in the first place — the answer to that question should be quite revealing.
While “divorced” is no longer a stigma, how and why a man’s marriage ended can shed light on his character. Before things between you get serious, inquire about his marital split . . . and make sure the divorce is final.
His Wife Left Him
A man who’s been ditched by his leading lady may still be bitter or heartbroken. Either way, his ego is definitely bruised. You’d have to know the details of why she chose to leave, but whatever the reason, this guy’s going to come with some baggage.
He Dates Younger
Whether they date younger women to feed their egos or they like to keep things light and fun, men who continuously choose girls half their age aren’t interested in dating an equal. He might only be interested in arm candy, have a fear of commitment, or have control issues.
He’s Never Been Married
A 37-year-old man who’s never tied the knot might still be searching for the right girl to call his own; a 47-year-old man who’s never been married is probably a dedicated bachelor. Age is definitely a factor, but if a dude’s never been married nor been in a long-term relationship, don’t expect a proposal any time soon.
© 2011 Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary authors of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
Natasha Burton, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted… But Chose to Ignore, is the Relationships Editor of Glo, a women’s website partnered with MSN.com. Her work has appeared in People, Glamour, WomansDay.com, FHMOnline, and Outblush.com. When she’s not grilling her friends about the most intimate details of their love lives, she’s most likely in the kitchen whipping up some Italian food.
Julie Fishman, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted… But Chose to Ignore, is a humor writer who works in screen, print, and web. She currently teaches at a college in Hollywood, pens a weekly cocktail column for Glo called “Hump Day Happy Hour,” and dreams up irreverent sitcom ideas. Aside from writing, she’s either hanging with her pooch and drinking wine, or talking about hanging with her pooch and drinking wine.
Meagan McCrary, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted… But Chose to Ignore, is an L.A.-based yoga teacher with an adventurous spirit for romance who has written about health and wellness for a variety of local lifestyles magazines. While she spends most of her days teaching Anusara yoga and giving private lessons to her various clients, she finds time to work on “being present” (and her tan) at the beach under the California sun.
Natasha, Julie, and Meagan are all Santa Monica — dwelling Pisceans who met while earning their Master’s of Professional Writing degrees at the University of Southern California.