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Category: Relationships

Review: MWF Seeks BFF by Rachel Bertsche

[ 2 ] April 28, 2012

Reviewed by Ann Liu

If Carrie Bradshaw, from Sex and the City, and Mr. Big left New York with her three girlfriends behind, what would she do without them? MWF Seeking BFF is a true story of Rachel Bertsche, a writer herself, who moves to Chicago with her husband, on the search for new friends.

MWF Seeking BFF, or Married White Female Seeking Best Friend Forever, is Rachel’s personal memoir of her yearlong search for a best friend. She dissects the friendship element and shares a lot of research toward understanding the psychological makeup of friends. According to Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist, the size of the brain determines the number of relationships we can maintain. The human brain can maintain 150 relationships. After calculating her social network of friends, families, and acquaintances, Rachel came up short 20 people. She decided to fill the 20 spots with a yearlong project to find a best friend that rivaled her best friends back home.

I found the story quite enjoyable, as Rachel describes the weekly dates and the friends she meets along the way.

Rachel writes in a captivating way, sharing some very humorous stories. The same way that dating is set up, she went on a friend date after friend date, with most dates fizzling out. 365 people is a lot of people to meet and toward the middle of the story, it was difficult to keep track of whom she has gone out with; all the people she met became a blur.

I ponder if the feelings of connections were mutual since the book was written from one perspective. If it had not been for the research and professional people she consulted with, the story would not have survived.

Dating is difficult enough but finding and bonding with friends is harder in this day and age with social networking and the internet. Without a friendship manual available, meeting friends after college becomes a difficult task. I can relate to a lot of what she experienced and commend her for going outside of the norm to find friends. I recommend this book to every female looking to connect with others and yearning to find that best friend.

Rating: ★★★½☆ 

Ann Liu loves to read women’s fiction, chick-lit, romance, and self help books. She lives in sunny Southern California, where she can enjoy her time reading outdoors.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Ballantine Books. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Get Married This Year by Dr. Janet Blair Page

[ 5 ] March 24, 2012

Reviewed by Jessi Buchmann

Don’t let the title Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do” throw you off of this book. It’s not just about getting hitched. If you are looking for ways to figure yourself out, discover your short comings when it comes to dating, and figure out why you don’t pick the ‘right’ partners then this book is for you. Being a single dating gal, I recognize that dating has almost become a sport and choosing the wrong potential dates has become a joke–at least among my friends. This book describes ways to avoid dating pitfalls, while keeping a positive attitude and maintaining the course without discouragement.

Dr. Janet Blair Page outlines how to find the right partnership by getting to know yourself and figuring out what you are ‘really’ looking for in a relationship. The book is predominately geared toward female-male relationships but could easily be used by any single person looking for a life mate. If you aren’t willing to be honest with yourself and do the work then this book will be of no use to you.

The point that hit home the most with me was ‘..just as you wouldn’t go to the store without some idea of what you want to buy, you shouldn’t begin dating without a clear idea of what you’re looking for in your ideal mate. It’s time to figure out exactly what you’re looking for by putting together a Spouse Shopping List.’ Why didn’t I think of it? The book goes further into detail about how to keep your mate once you’ve found him. I know I’ll be applying some of these lessons to my own dating life—shopping list in hand.

Get Married This Year is a straight shooting self-help book that connects with any reader. The read is interesting, dynamic and fast. If you’re looking to get married in a year, looking to find the partner with the best fit or even gearing up to start dating I recommend you pick up a copy.

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Jessi Buchmann lives in Beaverton, Oregon and works as a Project Manager. When she is not reading she can be found: writing, painting or wreaking havoc on her house doing home repairs.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by FSB Media. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: For Men Only by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

[ 3 ] January 21, 2012

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

For Men Only is a handy pocket guide into the minds of women. It follows the logic of how women think or behave at various times in their lives. The book shows men how to listen to women, instructs them on what not to say and gives tips on getting along with women in romantic relationships. The book also includes responses from female respondents who explain how they would feel in regard to various relationship issues.

For Men Only is grey-tabbed on the edges of the pages and separated into sections on sex, beauty, listening skills, security, emotion and reassurance. Each chapter has bullet points, examples, call-out quotes, truths about women, exceptions to the rules, quizzes for the reader, definitions and solutions to typical problems presented in relationships. It tells men what not to say in many emotional situations, and explains to men when they are missing the point with the women in their lives.

One section that I thought was incredibly sensitive and handled well was the one relating to the desire levels of men and women. Men’s level of desire is usually higher than women’s but interestingly, the authors point out that men use sex as a relief from the daily grind while women have to pull themselves out of the daily grind (taking care of the family, work obligations), in order to feel ready for being sexually assertive. Because women are typically caretakers in the family, they do have more distractions.

The authors of For Men Only truly see the women’s position in male and female relationships. I’d recommend this book to anyone over 21 years old who wants to know more about relationships in general.

Rating: ★★★★★ 

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Multnomah Books. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Shut Up & Dance! by Jamie Rose

[ 2 ] December 17, 2011

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

Tango lessons provide a backdrop to the rules of etiquette and other life lessons in Shut Up & Dance! by Jamie Rose. The book highlights life lessons learned in partner dances and shows the reader how to manage relationships – professional, romantic or otherwise.

Rose discusses her personal life and how she has embraced professional dancing as an important part of that life. She uses a glossary of terms, short quotes about the joys of dance, photos and funny stories about her own life to explain the power of dance to the reader. All the while, her childhood with famous show business parents is the true inspiration behind the story. Her parents worked hard but kept the most important priorities in sight: taking care of the family and meeting the needs of their children as best they could.

Rose is very honest through the book; her life lessons start with guiding the reader to self-love, then move to showing the reader how to find her inner goddess. She then goes on to describe how important it is to listen to your own heart, and to practice active listening in your life. Rose admits that she enjoys allowing men to take the lead on the dance floor and in her personal relationships. To this end I agree. If we are not allowing ourselves to live in the moment and enjoy the relationship, we get ahead of ourselves and risk ruining it with over-thinking what every gesture could mean. Dancing and tending to relationships should be instinctual and are best enjoyed when we let nature take its course.

Rose also explains how the best dancers in the world dance with intention. Dancing is an art, but it is also a conversation that one partner has with the other, and which both partners have with the audience. She says that even novice dancers can tap into this magic, if they allow themselves to let go and embrace the dance to its fullest measure. I have taken professional dance classes in the past and I was always amazed by how light on the feet the professional dancers were – it was as if they glided on air! Shut Up & Dance! gives the reader a glimpse into this special world.

Rating: ★★★★★ 

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Tarcher. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Meet to Marry by Bari Lyman

[ 2 ] December 14, 2011

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

Meet to Marry by Bari Lyman is a guidebook for anyone interested in changing the way he or she thinks about dating and eventually getting married. The Meet to Marry philosophy is one that approaches dating as a precursor to marriage and that encourages the daters to look for a deeper, lasting and more meaningful love while choosing their lifetime partner. Granted, finding a lifetime partner is probably the goal for most daters already, but they may waste valuable time dating around and dating the wrong type of person from the very start.

The steps in the Meet to Marry program are easy to follow. They include becoming your own best friend first, understanding your perfect type of relationship by evaluating your own emotional needs, choosing meaningful conversations with your partner , and creating your own dating plan of action. The book has a helpful Date to Marry Tip pull out, Readiness Quizzes, and a hypothetical question and answer section.

Of course, most people report getting that tingling feeling when they think they’ve met the right person. But it is possible to miss the subtle signs that someone you are dating is the right person if you don’t know what to look for in the first place.

By writing down your expectations and doing the work to find out your true needs and expectations, it is possible to put yourself in the best possible position for finding a more than suitable mate. Lyman even provides a section on how to teach other people to be a match maker for you. Dating is a lot less scary when the rules for success are written in a clear and concise manner, making it easy to understand and follow guidelines.

Most people assume that once they meet the “right” person it is the best time to get married. But it is critical to discuss the issues that are the most important to the couple. The core issues can be difficult to discuss outright, because it can make the couple uncomfortable to bring up these sensitive topics. However, without an agreement or understanding on these core issues in the early stages of the relationship, the couple may be on the road to certain failure.

Meet to Marry offers information on getting through the best and worst of dating times. Lyman gives advice which is appropriate for men and women and hope to anyone currently unattached that the right person is out there.

Rating: 5/5

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by HCI. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Dignity by Donna Hicks Ph.D

[ 4 ] December 10, 2011

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

Donna Hicks, Ph.D. is an expert on relationships and managing professional conflicts. She develops conflict resolution workshops around the world to show participants how to improve their relationships with each other by becoming more sensitive to the dignity of others.

In her book, Dignity, Hicks describes the essential elements of dignity, which show the readers how to honor it in themselves and in others. She then discusses the ways we inadvertently or intentionally violate the dignity of others. The last section of the book shows how to utilize the power of dignity to manage and improve relationships.

Hicks does an exemplary job of explaining how the concept of preserving dignity in ourselves and others shapes our lives. It is true that we will remember when someone else causes us to feel our dignity has been assaulted. At those times, when we feel the most vulnerable, we are most likely reacting to the response of someone else to us. These “dignity violations” are often at the heart of our conflicts with others. Hicks makes the case that we protect ourselves when we feel threatened, and we tend to lash out at others in an attempt to hurt the other person’s dignity. This never makes us feel better, but if we are not aware of our actions towards others, we can’t change our attitudes going forward.

I agree that it is important to make others feel included, and that validating the efforts of others is necessary for better professional and personal relationships. I also agree that we should take a deep breath before lashing out on someone who has wronged us. The avoidance of conflict preserves dignity on both sides.

Dignity is a good book for anyone interested in fostering positive relationships their professional and personal lives.

Rating: 5/5

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Newman Communications. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags

[ 5 ] July 6, 2011

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags is for any woman in a relationship, out of a relationship, thinking of a new relationship, or reminiscing on a past relationship. The book has all of the answers to dating men and for spotting the flags that signal their fidelity, love, affections and true feelings, or lack thereof.

I could not put The Little Black Book down. Each chapter describes a type of trait or characteristic, such as being immature or a cheater, and offers advice, red flags, testimonials and “WTF” stories of women who have had to deal with the situations first hand.

The book’s authors are three women who definitely know what they are talking about. They write in a style that is at once authoritative and conversational. You do feel as if you are talking to your best friend over a latte. But their advice is spot on and they do not couch their words or hold back in any way – they really tell the truth about when to leave and when to stay.

The point is, most women see the signs before they marry a guy, but choose to ignore them. The Little Black Book gives the women who see early signs of infidelity, insecurity, immaturity or inexcusable behavior permission to get out and find someone who appreciates them for who they are. This book is not only useful, it is also hilarious and I would recommend it to women of any age. Strong language used 100% appropriately for the context of the book (not suitable for teens).

Rating: 5/5

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review and giveaway copies were provided free of any obligation by FSB Media. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: The Ice Cream Theory by Steff Deschenes

[ 7 ] February 5, 2011

Reviewed by Poppy J.

In The Ice Cream Theory, Steff Deschenes uses ice cream as a theory to rate and categorize the people in her life. Each chapter begins with a famous quote about ice cream, then highlights a different type of ice cream flavor as it relates to Deschenes’ experiences (chocolate chip = Christmas story).

The Ice Cream Theory is full of self-deprecating humor, stories about the author and her friends, and tales from the author’s past. The paragraphs are a bit choppy (some only a sentence long), but the grammar and ideas are whimsical and fresh. Deschenes’ stories about others show so much about her own personality and up beat views on life; the book is not about herself and about herself in all the right ways.

Through her writing, it is easy to glimpse that Deschenes is fascinating, unready to settle down, cares deeply about humanity, and is generally optimistic about life. If you had a party this weekend and this author came to your shindig, I’d guarantee that your bash would be a hit – this author is just that cool!

However, The Ice Cream Theory is also about love – love lost, love gained and complicated love which works for awhile then fades or gets squashed for no reason. The reader will reach the conclusion that the ice cream theories are a way to hide behind hurt feelings when relationships go south, and also a realistic look at being “good enough” when life takes a turn.

I’d recommend The Ice Cream Theory to anyone in love, or anyone who has had their heart broken. Anyone interested in a new perspective on making sense of their life will enjoy reading this book.

Rating: 5/5

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Steff Deschenes. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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