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Category: Psychology & Counseling

Review: Get Married This Year by Dr. Janet Blair Page

[ 5 ] March 24, 2012

Reviewed by Jessi Buchmann

Don’t let the title Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do” throw you off of this book. It’s not just about getting hitched. If you are looking for ways to figure yourself out, discover your short comings when it comes to dating, and figure out why you don’t pick the ‘right’ partners then this book is for you. Being a single dating gal, I recognize that dating has almost become a sport and choosing the wrong potential dates has become a joke–at least among my friends. This book describes ways to avoid dating pitfalls, while keeping a positive attitude and maintaining the course without discouragement.

Dr. Janet Blair Page outlines how to find the right partnership by getting to know yourself and figuring out what you are ‘really’ looking for in a relationship. The book is predominately geared toward female-male relationships but could easily be used by any single person looking for a life mate. If you aren’t willing to be honest with yourself and do the work then this book will be of no use to you.

The point that hit home the most with me was ‘..just as you wouldn’t go to the store without some idea of what you want to buy, you shouldn’t begin dating without a clear idea of what you’re looking for in your ideal mate. It’s time to figure out exactly what you’re looking for by putting together a Spouse Shopping List.’ Why didn’t I think of it? The book goes further into detail about how to keep your mate once you’ve found him. I know I’ll be applying some of these lessons to my own dating life—shopping list in hand.

Get Married This Year is a straight shooting self-help book that connects with any reader. The read is interesting, dynamic and fast. If you’re looking to get married in a year, looking to find the partner with the best fit or even gearing up to start dating I recommend you pick up a copy.

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Jessi Buchmann lives in Beaverton, Oregon and works as a Project Manager. When she is not reading she can be found: writing, painting or wreaking havoc on her house doing home repairs.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by FSB Media. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

[ 3 ] March 21, 2012

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

The Power of Habit is amazing as it proves that any habit can be changed or manipulated to our advantage by mastering the cues, i.e. the behaviors that make us do a habit in the first place. The book provides guidance on recognizing these habits, becoming sensitive to how they develop, and making decisions on whether they should be changed. It then offers advice on how to change a specific habit for a lifetime.

All habits begin with a cue – this tells us we are repeating a behavior. Then there is an opportunity to develop a routine around the behavior (which is hopefully a wanted, positive or sought after habit). It follows that a reward is given to reinforce a behavior. In this way, if we are sensitive to the cues and routines, we can work to change a habit.

There are marketing, business and real-life examples from several different industries to show how habits are formed and reinforced. Why is it important to understand habits? Because, as is explained in The Power of Habit, everything that we do is built on habits. Apparently our brains would be worn out if we had to remember how to do everything for the first time each day. In this way, habits are “habit-forming,” and they are also able to be manipulated and changed. Marketing companies use habits to get us to buy products; a new product launch succeeds or fails based on whether the consumers understand that they can’t live without the product once a habit is formed to keep using it.

What is amazing about The Power of Habit is that there are real examples of how companies have been ruined or bolstered with the habits of people within the organization. Individuals, organizations, demographic groups and entire populations work, live, play and prosper on the strength and values of their habits.

This book would be valuable to anyone interested in leadership at an organization, in marketing a new product to the masses, attempting or initiating a weight loss program or anyone interested in developing a new habit.

Rating: ★★★★★ 

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Random House. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: After the Diagnosis by Julian Seifter, MD with Betsy Seifter, PhD

[ 2 ] March 3, 2012

Reviewed by Krista Castner

My mother has been struggling with a chronic illness, and I thought that this book might provide some tips or tools to help her focus on something other than her diagnosis. Dr. Julian Seifter writes from experience since he has had diabetes for years, and works with patients struggling with renal disease. I thought that After the Diagnosis gave some practical insights for moving beyond the diagnosis of a chronic illness and back into the mainstream of life. It’s not about ignoring the diagnosis, or becoming excessively focused on it; the key is to acknowledge where you are and move forward with the things that are in your power to change or affect.

Dr. Seifter observes, “In the course of my long career, I’ve seen many people battle their illnesses, and I’ve come to see that each person writes a narrative as individual as a thumbprint. Some stories are about successful adaptation or, happiest of all, about conquering the foe, others are darker, more tangled, more troubled. But every story deserves respect. Every story has a real, actual teller, and needs to be listened to.”

The book contains many stories about patients who managed their conditions well and lived a full and enriching life, as well as stories about patients who did not do so well. The patients who were able to cope with the chronic illness were the ones who were able to talk about their situation and come to some sort of decision about how much they’d let the illness control the pieces that made up their essential selves.

There are discussions about the stages of acceptance of a chronic illness, and a section for the caregivers of chronically ill patients. One of my favorite quotes comes towards the end of the book and sums up the philosophy of the book succinctly.

Dr. Seifter asserts, “Facing up to adversity is less a matter of deciding to be strong than of letting go and seeing what comes next. What is most required in order to thrive ‘after the diagnosis’ is the capacity to stay open to experience. By letting life happen and time go forward, we can hold on to future hopes and present meanings.”

This philosophy is really true for everyone, but becomes more immediate for those thrust into making potentially life altering decisions because of chronic illness. After the Diagnosis has helped me understand my Mom’s journey, and made me more compassionate about the choices she’s making for herself every day.

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Krista lives just outside the urban sprawl of Portland, Oregon. Lamentably, her work as a technical writer and business analyst often interferes with her reading which is a true passion.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Simon & Schuster. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Quiet by Susan Cain

[ 7 ] February 11, 2012

Reviewed by F. Scott

Quiet, by lawyer-turned-consultant Susan Cain, is a good antidote to what I call our BS society. In short, she shows that it is okay to be short with your words to the world and others around you.

Our society forces everyone in it to be an extrovert—and if you’re not, you’re just too weird to be liked, hired, or kissed. We learn this from our early days in school when the point is to be socially adept and get along with others. Cain correctly points to the “politically progressive roots” of this phenomenon in our society. However, she doesn’t really nail or name the ultimate culprit: John Dewey. Democracy demands that we socialize kids, not really teach them anything or make them think very deeply, Dewey basically said.

I always like to refer to that scene in To Kill a Mockingbird when Scout tells her father, Atticus, “teacher says we’re not supposed to read outside of school.” (This is 1932.) That’s because of the see-and-say method then coming into vogue to (not) teach kids to read. Just be nice and social, my dear little Scout, and don’t think too much. This is all Dewey. Atticus, great man that is, says nuts to the teacher.

This is the whole “cooperative” approach to learning, and if you as a teacher don’t do it that way, you’re out. Talk to just about any K­–12 teacher these days about their classes and you’ll eventually hear this: “. . . and then I put them in groups.” As a once and former teacher, I say, “Screw the group work!” Everybody but everybody knows that one kid does all the work and the others just copy off him or her. And “group projects” usually aren’t.

How did I get off on this rant about education, anyway? Because everyone just blabs all damn day long, and no one can think their way out of paper bag.

Cain offers research study after research study on the mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical characteristics of extroverts and introverts, complete with fMRI tests. Seems that introverts literally do have thinner skin. But it all sort of melds together pretty quickly, and one chapter is just like the next. Yet, we can come to see that most people really are introverts by nature—I forget what stats she gives, and she doesn’t say this herself—but we force ourselves to be extroverts in order to get, to get the girl…the guy…the job…the sale.

Sorry, folks, but one more time I have to say this: “What do editors do these days?” Quiet could be much tighter. The research findings are often interesting, but if I ever write like this, shoot me: “On a sunny but overcast, rainy but dry, day that was getting hotter and colder at the same time . . . in walked/approached me/sat down an unassuming man/woman/child of a certain age . . .” I mean, at the start of every chapter!

Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

Read Susan Cain’s NYT article, “The Rise of the New Groupthink“, and the corresponding commentary at BigThink.com

F. Scott would really just like to talk when he wants and shut up when he wants.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Crown. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Breakthrough by Shea Vaughn

[ 3 ] January 28, 2012

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

Breakthrough by Shea Vaughn (yes, she is actor Vince Vaughn’s mother) is fittingly dedicated to the breakthroughs that allow us to find the most relevant and important aspects of our lives. These breakthroughs include living each day in the present (leaving the past behind) and finding self-fulfillment in each day.

Vaughn focuses on a mind and body connection, and incorporates meditation and lessons on becoming more aware of self to live a happier life. The first half of the book offers advice on how to slow down and become more sensitive to movement and thought that we experience every day. The middle part of the book discusses the five principles of well-being (commitment, perseverance, self-control, integrity and love). The last sections offer photos of the author performing several exercise routines, discuss aging and show ways to apply these five principles to your life.

I especially enjoyed the exercises at the end of the book and the way they were shown in a series of photos, making it easier to replicate them on my own. The stretching-based routines did clear my head when I tried them, and they offered a nice alternative to a full out workout; the stretching routines would be perfect on a “resting” day between formal exercise routines.

I recommend Breakthrough to anyone who is stressed in a home or job situation and who needs advice on how to unwind.

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Click here for a video of Shea Vaughn working out with her son and Ellen DeGeneres

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by PR by the Book. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Living with Depression by Deborah Serani

[ 3 ] January 26, 2012

Reviewed by Sara Drake

Living with Depression should be read by anyone with depression or anyone who cares about someone with depression. I wanted to say that up front as that thought kept going through my head as I read through this great synopsis of a common mental illness. I have long looked for a resource that so clearly lays out the basics and offers good advice.

Deborah Serani begins with a touching description of her own battles with depression. I found myself holding my breath as I read about her plans for suicide, waiting to see what happens next. Yes, I knew that she clearly lived through it to write the book but I could not help getting sucked into the story! Her personal view throughout the book keeps it from reading like an academic text book. Instead, reading it feels more like listening to a wise professor chat over lunch.

After her personal story, Serani describes the clinical definitions of mood disorders, their causes, their treatment, and the problems faced by those with a mood disorder. She includes a great deal of technical detail in her sections on the etiology of depression and the medications used to treat it. While she does a great job at describing the biological details, some readers may be intimidated by the density of scientific terms.

She offers helpful suggestions and contacts for anyone stuck in the morass that the U.S. mental health care system has become. I have read several books on depression and this is the first one to offer practical advice for individuals needing treatment. Too often, books focus on the mental illness or the treatment itself neglecting to help individuals with details.

Overall, I found Living with Depression to be both informative and enjoyable. I plan on keeping it as a handy reference for its listing of multiple resources that can be called on to assist with getting appropriate treatment.

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Sara Drake has been an avid reader since a young age. She has both a Master’s in Mental Health Counseling and a Master’s in History.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Deborah Serani. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Review: Dignity by Donna Hicks Ph.D

[ 4 ] December 10, 2011

Reviewed by Poppy Johnson

Donna Hicks, Ph.D. is an expert on relationships and managing professional conflicts. She develops conflict resolution workshops around the world to show participants how to improve their relationships with each other by becoming more sensitive to the dignity of others.

In her book, Dignity, Hicks describes the essential elements of dignity, which show the readers how to honor it in themselves and in others. She then discusses the ways we inadvertently or intentionally violate the dignity of others. The last section of the book shows how to utilize the power of dignity to manage and improve relationships.

Hicks does an exemplary job of explaining how the concept of preserving dignity in ourselves and others shapes our lives. It is true that we will remember when someone else causes us to feel our dignity has been assaulted. At those times, when we feel the most vulnerable, we are most likely reacting to the response of someone else to us. These “dignity violations” are often at the heart of our conflicts with others. Hicks makes the case that we protect ourselves when we feel threatened, and we tend to lash out at others in an attempt to hurt the other person’s dignity. This never makes us feel better, but if we are not aware of our actions towards others, we can’t change our attitudes going forward.

I agree that it is important to make others feel included, and that validating the efforts of others is necessary for better professional and personal relationships. I also agree that we should take a deep breath before lashing out on someone who has wronged us. The avoidance of conflict preserves dignity on both sides.

Dignity is a good book for anyone interested in fostering positive relationships their professional and personal lives.

Rating: 5/5

After a decade of working in several NYC law departments and teaching, Poppy decided she enjoyed writing full-time. She currently works as a freelance writing consultant, and lives with her husband and sons on the East Coast.

Review copy was provided free of any obligation by Newman Communications. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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Blog Tour & Giveaway: You Are Not So Smart by David McRaney

[ 93 ] October 18, 2011

Please join David McRaney, author of You Are Not So Smart, as he tours the blogosphere with TLC Book Tours!

Reviewed by Shannon Hopkins

Do you remember that time, a few years ago, when you were at that place with a bunch of people and you did that awesome thing that everybody thought was the coolest thing ever? Of course you do; that’s why you tell the story every time you get the chance. Except during one telling, your best friend reminds you that she was the one who did the awesome thing, she was the one everybody thought was cool, and you actually weren’t there at all…

You’re so pleased at the day’s social networking: you officially have 1,000 Facebook friends! Clearly you are blessed with a widespread and far-flung network of close compatriots…except you only meaningfully interact with about 150 of them.

These observations are just an example of David McRaney’s arguments in You Are Not So Smart, a 48-chapter treatise on the mental processes that have us fooled into thinking that we are smarter, more intuitive, nicer and calmer and more important to the general public than we really are. He discusses the idea of confabulation (chapter 2), the brain’s practice of filling in gaps in memory and information with other information to form a seamless pattern of detail, which alters our memories and leads us to create entirely fabricated explanations for our inexplicable actions; the truth about procrastination (chapter 6), which is not that we are poor time managers but that we are poor controllers of impulse; and the third person effect, which makes us all think that we are far less susceptible to persuasion and influence than the others around us.

McRaney consults news stories, psychological studies, and prior works such as Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink to develop each concept. You Are Not So Smart is divided into concise chapters designed either for a straight read-through or for the browser who is interested in one or two particular phenomena. While his premise is not purely original, McRaney’s straightforward, no-nonsense writing style is amusing and encourages the reader to stop and think about how our brains have us tricked in everyday situations. This is a quick, great read for anybody who is smart enough to realize that we are really not so smart.

Rating: 4.5/5

Shannon lives in Cleveland, Ohio with her fianc é and a room full of books that she peruses when she isn’t trolling Apartment Therapy for new decorating ideas. In her free time she enjoys maintaining her blog, The Writer’s Closet, planning her wedding, and baking tasty gluten-free treats.

Giveaway:
I have 1 copy of You Are Not So Smart to give away!

Mandatory entry: Please comment here and include your e-mail address.

Extra entries (please post each entry separately, i.e. 2 posts for subscribing):
- Subscribe via e-mail, follow or subscribe to the feed. You must verify the subscriptions. (1 entry each)
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This giveaway is open to US and Canada residents only. Deadline to enter is midnight on October 30, 2011.

Review and giveaway copies were provided free of any obligation by Gotham. No monetary or any other form of compensation was received.

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